


Check and Mate

by Singing_Violin



Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: Angst, F/M, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-07
Updated: 2013-10-07
Packaged: 2017-12-28 16:46:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,289
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/994220
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Singing_Violin/pseuds/Singing_Violin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Just after the events of "Endgame", Tom, Dick, and Harry take care of a very wasted Janeway.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Check

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: The Star Trek characters and universe do not belong to me.

_Her husband...Chakotay. Her husband..._

The admiral's words replayed incessantly in Kathryn's mind. She'd been able to finish out her bridge shift and visit the new baby before it had started, but now that, frankly, there was nothing to do, her mind was running away from her.

_Chakotay and Seven...Chakotay married...Chakotay..._

The voice inside her head taunted her, and she sought refuge in the cargo bay. Specifically, in the form of a certain Antarian brandy she'd been saving for a special occasion. _Oh hell, this is special enough. To the admiral who sacrificed her life for...whatever_ , she toasted inside her head as she began to drink.

* * *

Tom spoke to his friend in a hushed voice as he watched his wife and newborn sleeping soundly in Sickbay. "Harry, let's go celebrate...we're home and I'm a father!"

Ensign Kim nodded and smiled at him as they exited the room. "What do you have in mind? One last Captain Proton adventure?"

"Naw," Tom replied. "Something better...how about real cigars? I've got some in Cargo Bay Two."

Harry coughed. "Tobacco? Yuck!"

Tom grumbled. "Fine, no cigars. You know, you're mocking tradition, Harry."

"Yeah well, it's a tradition that deserves to be mocked. How could anyone stand that stuff? It smells awful, and it's toxic to boot..."

Tom raised an eyebrow. "Don't knock it until you try it. But it's okay, I won't make you; I've got some other goodies in there too."

Harry looked askance at his friend, but obediently followed him to the cargo bay.

* * *

Chakotay was enjoying his "fifth date." It had been a long time since he had attempted a romance, and this one was refreshingly innocent. The food was good, the wine was better, and the company was - well, it was Seven. He was aware that there were many men aboard _Voyager_...and probably some women too...that would envy his current situation. If he were to be perfectly honest, he'd admit that his date was still in need of considerable coaching in the social graces, but he admired her honest effort, and the physical attraction he felt towards her was more than enough to make up for any lack of emotional engagement. He sighed with contentment, and was rather amused when Seven inquired as to his well-being as a result.

After they'd finished dessert, Chakotay asked Seven to dance. She rose gracefully and, with a practiced step, began to move in time to the soft jazz music played by the holographic band. He leaned forward to kiss her, and was rudely interrupted by the beep of his communicator. He gave her an apologetic look before answering, and thought for a second that she looked slightly relieved. He shook his head, assuming he was imagining things.

* * *

"This had better be good," Chakotay grumbled as Tom led him into the cargo bay.

His expression changed to pure shock as he observed his captain being quite obviously propped up by an extremely frightened-looking Harry Kim as she waved an almost-empty bottle of some sort of liquor. _Spirits, she's completely smashed_.

When she saw her first officer, she stumbled forward, reaching out an arm in an attempt to slap him in the face. He was too stunned to stop her, but in her inebriated state, she missed, and nearly toppled over as a result.

Tom caught her awkwardly. "Whoa there, Captain," he warned.

"Wha's he doin' here?" she slurred angrily.

"Yes Tom," Chakotay answered, turning to him, "what _am_ I doing here?"

Tom was at a loss. "Well, I thought that..." What had he thought? That perhaps the first officer might be slightly concerned about the fact that the captain was drunk off her ass?

Chakotay sighed. "Well, get her to Sickbay already! You didn't need to call me."

Tom and Harry exchanged worried glances, and, as Tom was busily restraining the captain, who was squirming to try to get back to Chakotay, no doubt to attempt, again, to assault him, Harry decided to explain.

The ensign cleared his throat. "Uh, Commander, B'Elanna and the baby are there, and besides, we were afraid that, since the Doctor would be obligated to report the incident, and since we'll be on Earth in a few days, well, uh, it might reflect badly, and..."

Chakotay rolled his eyes before interrupting. "And so what if it does? It doesn't look like anyone's forced her to do anything...if she wants to jeopardize her career, how is that my problem? It's time she started being responsible for her own actions." His own anger surprised him.

She lurched towards him again. "Wha's wrong, Chak-tay? Gotta go back to your hot date?"

He pushed her aside. "As a matter of fact..." He paused then, frowning. "How do you know about that?"

She poked him as she spoke. "Can't tell ya, Tempral Prime Detective."

He raised his eyebrows, grabbing her wrist to stop her poking. "Prime Detective, huh? I'll tell you what, Kathryn, you go get sobered up and I'll forget this ever happened."

She squinted at him, then leaned forward and threw up on the front of his uniform.

"Spirits!" he cried as he jumped backwards too late. His anger returned full-force as he addressed the two younger men. "You two, do whatever you have to with her, but this is Not. My. Problem." With that, he stormed out.

"Well, that went well," sighed Harry as the doors closed behind the commander.

It was then that they simultaneously realized that she was still holding the bottle, and was attempting to take another swig. Harry wrested the object from her fingers. "Oh no you don't, Captain."

She slumped dejectedly in Tom's arms, and the pilot lowered her to the ground.

The pathetic sight made Harry want to cry. Instead, he made a joke. "Well, I'm certainly surprised by the 'goodies' you keep in here, Tom. Maybe cigars would have been a better idea."

"Ooh, cigars!" Janeway piped up excitedly. "Completely again' regulations, but I hear they make ya feel real good..."

Tom ignored her. "All right, Harry. We need a plan B. How's about you stay with her while I go steal some supplies from Sickbay?"

Harry protested. "Why me? Why don't you stay with her?"

Tom waggled a finger at him. "Because I'm the senior officer here - well, of the two that are fit for duty - and I can make it an order. Besides, I have a good pretense for visiting Sickbay, and as the Doctor's assistant, I know where to find everything."

Harry knew he was defeated, but nevertheless put up one more argument. "But I don't know what to do with her! What if I...do something wrong?"

Tom snickered. "Like what, kiss her?"

Harry managed to look both scandalized and disgusted.

"Sorry, Harry, you're really no' my type," Janeway interjected.

Again, they ignored her. "You've never looked after a drunk person before, Harry?" Tom asked.

"Can't say that I have," the ensign admitted.

"Goody-two-shoes," Tom muttered. "Look, just keep her warm and talk to her. If she seems like she's ready to pass out, make sure she lies on her side, not on her back. But hopefully I'll be back with the detox kit before then."

"Aye, _Sir_ ," answered Harry unhappily.

* * *

Chakotay was furious. _What the hell was she thinking?_ He'd never seen Captain Janeway drunk before, not once; honestly he didn't think she'd ever been drunk; it didn't seem in her nature to deliberately hinder her inhibitions. _Was she celebrating our homecoming? Alone in the cargo bay? Or was she mourning the loss of the Admiral? Was this something the Admiral suggested to her?_ He found his curiosity beginning to overwhelm his anger and had to remind himself, again, that this was Kathryn's problem, not his. _But she tried to slap me; what was_ that _all about?_

He had Seven to worry about now. _But Seven seems fine._

He tried to deflect the stares of crewmen as he made his way back to his quarters in his soiled uniform. _I should have requested an emergency transport_ , he thought to himself. _Why didn't I? Yes, it's a waste of energy, but it's her energy...it's her fault. And as we'll be home in a few days, there's no need to conserve any more._ He concluded that he was far too loyal and obedient for his own good, but it was too late to change his mind.

Chakotay breathed a sigh of relief as he finally entered his quarters. He couldn't shuck his uniform fast enough. In the sonic shower, he wished the cleansing would be more than skin-deep, because somehow, he felt very, very dirty.

* * *

"You ca' say it, Harry. I'm washed up, should retire. Crazy old woman..."

Ensign Kim gulped. "Captain, you're the best thing that ever happened to this crew."

She waved a hand at him. "Can think of certain first officer, might not...no, make that def'nitely not agree..."

Harry sighed. "I don't profess to know what's in Chakotay's mind, but..."

She interrupted him, and with horror, he realized her eyes were full of unshed tears. _Oh shit, Tom didn't tell me what to do if she starts crying_. "Tha's right, you dunno 'bout Chak-tay. Didja know he used ta love me?"

Harry couldn't contain his look of shock, which, surprisingly given her intoxication, she picked up. "Oh no, we never..." she explained, "but I knew, and he knew, and I knew that he knew, and he knew that I..." Her voice trailed off as she appeared to be attempting to count on her fingers.

"Well, it doen't matter now," she continued, "anyway, he dumped the old lady for a young'un. Never knew he liked tall blondes..." she drawled.

"Wait a second," Harry answered, "are you telling me that Chakotay is having an affair with Seven?"

She nodded and swiped at her eyes, which had begun to overflow. "He's gonna marry her," she responded, sniffling.

Awkwardly, Harry pulled her towards him and allowed her to sob against his chest as he contemplated the situation. _What the hell is Chakotay thinking? Okay, I know what Chakotay is thinking...or feeling, at least - she's a fine-looking woman - but...damn, this is a mess_. He silently prayed for Tom to return quickly.

* * *

Seven was surprised when Chakotay asked her to come to his quarters. She was eager to try - on the real thing this time - what she had practiced on his hologram, but her research suggested that it was not yet an appropriate time for intimacy. To be truthful, she was still quite nervous, even about kissing, although their first few kisses had gone quite well. She suspected that her technique was off, because the purported "spark" she was supposed to feel was heretofore absent. Still, she was curious what he had in mind as she eagerly approached.

On the way to his quarters, she saw a most disturbing sight. The captain appeared to be being dragged towards the door of her quarters, her arms slumped over the shoulders of Tom Paris and Harry Kim. Seven noted with concern that the captain looked rather ill. The men did not notice her staring, as they were too busy with their charge. Seven resolved to ask Chakotay about it.

* * *

"Why aren't the meds working?" Harry asked Tom worriedly as they placed the now unconscious captain on her bed.

"Honestly, Harry, I have no idea. It takes a few minutes, but it should be kicking in by now. Anyway, I almost got caught, and next time I go back, it's going to be to see my wife and daughter, and nothing more."

"Good," Harry replied. "I'll go to Sickbay and you can stay with her. Remind me again why we didn't use the emergency transport?"

Tom sighed. "Because we don't want there to be a record of this event where Starfleet can find it. We're in enough hot water as it is, a ship half-full of Maquis. You really think they'll believe us if we tell them this is the first time ever? And no, Harry, you're going to stay with her. I'm a new father, remember? Besides, you were doing so well before!"

Harry rolled his eyes. "If making her cry constitutes 'doing well.'"

"Hey," Tom told his friend, patting him on the back, "you didn't make her cry. Chakotay did. And next time I get a chance, I'm going to have a talk with the big guy about that..."

* * *

Seven was lying underneath Chakotay as he touched various parts of her body in what she could only categorize as "creative" ways. Occasionally, he stopped to kiss her, but what he did in between was a mystery to her. It felt strange, and not altogether unpleasant, but not particularly pleasant either. _This is definitely turning out to be an interesting experiment; I'm surprised the Doctor's lessons didn't cover this_.

They were interrupted by the unmistakable sound of retching on the other side of the wall. Seven pushed Chakotay away from her. "I thought you said the captain was fine," she accused.

Chakotay sat back, angry that Kathryn had - albeit inadvertently - once again ruined the mood. "She is fine," he insisted. "She's just..." He sighed, wanting desperately to tell Seven that the captain had irresponsibly gotten drunk and deserved whatever she was going through. However, his deep-seated loyalty was not to be overridden, so he changed the subject. "Do you want to reconvene in your quarters?" he suggested.

Seven was appalled. "The captain is obviously ill, and you are not concerned about her at all?"

His lack of answer was all the confirmation she needed. She rose from the bed, ready to storm out. "This relationship is over," she stated. "I am going to call Sickbay and alert the Doctor so that the captain may receive treatment."

"Wait," Chakotay called as he ran after her, grabbing her just as she was about to exit. "If you want to break up with me, fine, but don't stick your nose in the captain's business. If you must know, Harry and Tom are with her, and if she needs to go to Sickbay, they will take her." He held his breath, praying that Seven would accept his plea.

"Very well," she conceded, as the supposition that the two men she'd seen carrying the captain were still with her seemed logical. She was beginning to understand that the commander knew something she didn't, and seconded her split-second decision to end the relationship with the knowledge that he would not share what he knew with her despite her obvious concern.

After Seven left, Chakotay hit the wall with his fist. _When did things start getting so fucked up?_

He lay back on his bed and tried to relax, but again the disgusting sound intruded and, frustrated, he rose and exited his room.

* * *

Harry was surprised to hear the door chime so soon after Tom's departure, but assumed his friend had taken pity on him and come back to help. He was nothing less than shocked to see Commander Chakotay - a very angry Commander Chakotay, from the looks of it - at the door when he opened it. _Oh shit_.

The commander pushed past the ensign and made his way directly towards the woman who was sitting on her bed, leaning over a large bucket that she held between her legs.

As he approached, she looked up, and the fury in his eyes was reflected back in hers. "What are you doing here, _Commander_?" she asked through clenched teeth.

"Well, _Captain_ ," he answered, "you've succeeded in ruining my evening twice now. I thought, perhaps, I might be granted the _courtesy_ of being told why."

She glared. "Because I'm the captain and I can do whatever the fuck I want," she responded. "I'm very sorry if I've _inconvenienced_ you. Besides, I didn't call you. _They_ did." She pointed at Ensign Kim and seemed to be looking for the other culprit.

"Hey," Harry objected. "I was only following Tom into the cargo bay...how were we supposed to know we'd find you there? And if we hadn't done anything..." He stopped talking as she leaned over the bucket and threw up again. Chakotay made a face of disgust.

When she was done, she callously wiped her mouth on her sleeve before speaking again. "Now, if I'm not mistaken, these are my quarters, and you are both trespassing."

Chakotay sighed with frustration and addressed Harry. "Why the hell didn't you two have the good sense, if you weren't going to take her to Sickbay, to at least give her a detox hypo?" _How did this get to be my problem?_

"We did," Harry answered, "but it's not working properly."

"I'm sure it would have worked fine," Janeway argued, "had you given me the proper drug."

Harry blinked. "Captain?"

"Oh, don't look so shocked, Ensign. The Doctor keeps the real stuff hidden under lock and key. As per my orders." With that, she tossed him an empty hypospray. "Now get out of my quarters before I throw you both in the brig."

Chakotay's anger was beginning to fade, slowly being replaced by mounting frustration and confusion. Harry leaned towards him and whispered, "Can I have a word with you in the other room?" Chakotay nodded, and they moved as if to leave, stopping when they were out of her line of sight.

"She seems to be sobering up, but I promised Tom I wouldn't leave her alone," he admitted, looking particularly uncomfortable.

The commander instantly understood his meaning. "You want me to stay with her."

Harry's pleading look confirmed his suspicion. "Fine," Chakotay assented, "I'll stay." _She's already ruined my night; what's a few more hours? In less than a week, I'll never have to see her again_. Harry looked infinitely relieved and couldn't escape fast enough.

Steeling himself, Chakotay reentered the bedroom and leaned against the doorway, his arms crossed in front of him.

"Who let you back in?" Kathryn inquired pointedly.

"I never left," he answered quietly. "Harry's gone though."

"I will..." she started.

"I know," he interrupted. "Throw me in the brig. But to do that, you'd have to call security, and my guess is, you don't want Tuvok to see you like this. Plus, Tom and Harry had some interesting points to make about public records of shipboard incidents."

She looked resigned. "Leave me alone," she pleaded.

"No can do, sorry," he replied. _I wonder who's more sorry about that, Kathryn, you or I._ "I promised Harry, and Harry promised Tom. Funny how it works like that, with people trusting each other?"

She glared at him meaningfully, and he knew he'd struck a nerve, but her words were nevertheless a surprise. "You don't know a damned thing about trust."

"Don't I?" he countered. "I've trusted you from day one, and I got my own crewmen to trust you too. We followed every order you gave."

"Except a few," she muttered. He ignored her and continued.

"And what did we get in return?"

She set down the bucket and, wobbling slightly, walked towards him. She looked him directly in the eye and stated, "You got home. Alive."

"Yes, but at what cost?" he challenged.

Suddenly she felt dizzy. He noticed as she swayed, and instinctively reached out a hand to steady her. She slapped it away but regained her balance, her hand pressing against the wall for support.

"I trusted you," she finally said. "It was you who betrayed me."

He raised his eyebrows as she turned to walk back towards her bed. "I can't believe you're saying that, Kathryn. Even now I could be taking you to Sickbay, having the Doctor file an official report...I have _no fucking clue_ why I'm still protecting you."

"Me either," she replied, sitting with her head in her hands. "And I suppose that's the problem."

He threw up his hands in frustration before walking over to her. Standing, he loomed over her, but she showed no sign of intimidation, though she queasily eyed her bucket.

"I used to think it was because we were friends," he finally admitted.

She snorted. "Is that what you told Seven? Oh wait, I forgot, you and Seven are _more_ than friends."

"Thanks to you," he retorted, "not anymore."

She softened suddenly. "Oh, Chakotay, I'm very sorry."

"Don't be," he told her. "At least, don't be sorry about _that_. Don't flatter yourself; even you can't stop something that's meant to be."

She raised an eyebrow at that. "So what exactly should I be sorry for?"

"If you don't know..." he started, but his voice trailed off. She reached for the bucket, and he watched as she hugged it towards her. _I will not feel sorry for her_ , he told himself as she paled, then, with visible effort, recovered slightly.

"Look, this isn't a good time to be talking about this," he pointed out. "If you still want to talk in the morning, I'll be here. After all, I promised Harry."

She set down the bucket once more and curled onto her side, closing her eyes. Maybe he was right. Maybe in the morning things would make more sense.

Or maybe not.

 


	2. Mate

Kathryn didn't think she'd ever felt sicker in her life. _What the hell was I thinking_? As the room spun around her and her head pounded mercilessly, she shivered and sweated and tried desperately not to retch every few minutes when her stomach contracted painfully.

 _Water_ , a distant voice inside her head suggested. _You're dehydrated_.

Gingerly, she shifted position until her feet were on the floor, then rose, her legs wobbly underneath her. Slowly, she hobbled to the replicator and ordered a glass of water.

"Please specify temperature," the computer's calm voice instructed.

Somehow, Kathryn found this incredibly annoying and moved to pummel the device. However, as she wound up for the punch, her arm was tightly caught and immobilized. She gasped slightly; she'd completely forgotten that she wasn't alone.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you," warned the voice that used to be a great comfort to her. "Who knows what it would do in retaliation?" His voice was filled with bitterness in place of what once would have been humor.

 _Is this retaliation for something you think I've done to you?_ she wondered silently. To her horror, she felt tears sting at her eyes, but she willed them away, not wanting to give him the satisfaction of knowing he'd upset her. Before she could think of a reply, he was speaking again, this time to the replicator.

"One glass of water, ten degrees Celsius," he ordered. He released her and took the glass, and she contemplated redirecting her assault towards a new target, but, suddenly extremely thirsty, she grabbed the glass and opted instead to focus on wetting her parched throat.

Greedily, she gulped. Her stomach protested violently, and no sooner had the soothing liquid gone down than she felt it reversing course. Her shaking hands released the glass as she realized she was going to have to make a mad dash. In the moment she tried to decide between the bathroom toilet and the bucket in the bedroom, the water spilled out of her mouth and onto the floor.

Feeling completely wretched and forgetting, again, about her companion, she sat heavily on the floor, put her head in her hands, and began to weep.

* * *

Tom Paris hadn't slept well. Between the excitement over his new baby and his growing worry about the captain, his mind didn't want to rest. He entered the Mess Hall, bracing himself for Crell's breakfast creation, and was shocked to see Harry Kim already there, sipping tea.

He quickly made his way to Harry's table – luckily he was alone; it was still early and there were few people at breakfast. "Harry, did you leave her alone?" he queried apprehensively.

Harry frowned. "Good morning to you too, Tom. No, I didn't leave her alone; she's with Chakotay."

"You're kidding!" Tom exclaimed. "You didn't!"

"Sssh, keep your voice down," he admonished, eyeing the few other occupants of the Mess Hall. The last thing the captain needed right now was rumors. "Anyway, he volunteered…sort of."

Tom shook his head. "I hesitate to ask what method of persuasion you used. Let's go." He rose from the table.

Harry still sat. "I don't know about you, Tom, but I've got a promising career to pick up now that we're home, and I can't imagine barging in on her again would be conducive to a promotion."

Tom sat back down. "You're not worried about what he'll do to her? You saw him in the cargo bay…and you told me what she said about him…how could you possibly leave them alone together? With her in that state no less?"

Harry shrugged. The image of the captain completely wasted and puking into a bucket had haunted him all night, preventing him from sleeping. He shuddered, recalling it once again, and wondered whether he'd ever be able to forget. "As I said, he volunteered. She threatened to throw us both in the brig, and I figured he was the one with the better chance of getting out of that one. After all, she was _supposed_ to bring him back in the brig. She's just a few years late about it. I, on the other hand…"

"Harry, Harry, Harry," Tom chided. "We have to rescue her. After all she's done for us, it's the least we can do. Besides, she loves you; you're like the teacher's pet around here. Even if she did throw you in the brig, she'd probably apologize profusely afterwards and give you a glowing recommendation."

"Is that what she did after she court-martialed you?" Harry asked pointedly.

"I'm not her favorite," Tom argued. "And I'm still willing to risk it. I owe her; she got me out of prison. And she's saved your life several times. Remember the Sirens who wanted to kill you for the DNA infusion?"

"Fine," Harry grumbled. "Let's go."

* * *

The voice telling Chakotay that his ungrateful captain and one-time friend deserved to suffer grew distant and another voice began to take over. _She's hurting, and you promised to look after her. Suck it up and serve her one last time - if not for her, then for Harry._

Chakotay sighed and placed a hand on her shoulder after setting another glass of water in front of her. "You really haven't done this before, have you?" he inquired.

She shook her head, her face still buried in her hands. Chakotay's throat constricted and he felt a new wave of concern wash over him. _Stop it_ , he commanded himself, _you're doing this because it's your duty, nothing more. She doesn't deserve your sympathy_.

"I got you some more water," he told her. "Sip it this time, carefully."

Now she looked up, and her face was wet with tears. She saw the glass in front of her and took it gingerly. She lifted it to her lips and did as he instructed.

"Easy," he urged. "That's enough for the moment." He took the glass away from her and she wiped her face with her hands, trying unsuccessfully to stem the flow of tears.

Two more voices battled for attention in Chakotay's mind. One urged him to seat himself next to her and put his arms around her. He shooed it away. The other, the voice of curiosity, begged him to figure out what would cause this woman to do something so rash and so out of character. He yielded.

"Why?" he asked her, more gently than he expected.

"I don't know," she answered honestly.

* * *

"Please state the nature of the medical emergency," the Doctor requested as he was activated automatically upon the opening of Sickbay's doors.

"There is no emergency," stated the tall blonde woman who had just walked in. "At least, I do not think so."

The Doctor frowned. "Have you been experiencing difficulties since the removal of your cortical node?"

She raised an eyebrow. "No, Doctor. Were there anticipated side effects of which I was not informed?"

"Of course not, Seven. What can I do for you, then?"

Seven of Nine was silent. She wasn't exactly sure why she'd come to Sickbay; she knew only that she craved the company of a friend, and the Doctor was her closest friend aboard _Voyager_.

The Doctor eyed her suspiciously. "How is your romantic experiment going?"

"It is over," she snapped.

"I see," answered the Doctor, feeling a surprising amount of relief. His feelings for Seven were no secret – not since he accidentally blurted them out to the crew – and, although he was only a hologram, he was decidedly jealous after learning of her affair with someone else. She never told him who it was, but he suspected she'd gone for the organic version of her practice hologram. However, as he hadn't been entirely sure, he hadn't voiced his objections. He was gratified to learn that perhaps those objections were justified. "Would you like to talk about it?"

"No," she answered pointedly. "I would not."

"Then why are you here, Seven?" the Doctor asked as his exasperation mounted.

Seven decided that the truth, as best as she knew it, was the best option. "I wanted to be in the company of a friend," she admitted.

"In that case," the Doctor answered, "would you care to join me in the holodeck?"

Seven smiled a bit. "I'd like that."

* * *

When Tom and Harry rang the captain's door chime, Harry was reminded of trick-or-treating as a small child. He always felt awkward during what he decided, as an adult, was a very odd tradition. Like he did as a child, he worried about who would open the door. However, he knew, no matter what happened, they weren't going to be getting any candy out of this.

Nobody answered the door at first, and Harry grew even more worried, realizing that they hadn't actually ascertained that the captain was even inside.

"Computer, location of Captain Janeway," he ordered.

"Captain Janeway is in her quarters," answered the computer.

"Is there anyone else in her quarters?" asked Paris.

"Affirmative," answered the computer.

"List all people in the captain's quarters," said Harry.

"Captain Kathryn Janeway, Commander Chakotay." Harry gave Tom a look of _I told you so_.

Tom nodded at Harry and they tried again. Finally, Chakotay came to the door, looking decidedly worse for wear. Without waiting for an invitation, they walked inside.

All three men peered awkwardly at each other. Tom spoke first. "How is she?"

Chakotay glared at them. "As well as can be expected, I suppose, given how much alcohol she consumed and the lack of proper detox treatment." The jab was not lost on Harry, and he swallowed harshly.

"Well, we've come to relieve you," Tom offered. "We never meant to…"

Chakotay shook his head and interrupted. "Request denied," he answered. "You, Tom, have a wife and daughter to look after, if I'm not mistaken, and Harry, your bridge shift starts in approximately an hour, and I'm not leaving just to come back then."

Harry gave Tom a look. _See, we shouldn't have come. He's got everything under control_.

Tom, however, was suspicious, and fueling his suspicions was the distinct sound of whimpering coming from the bedroom. Tom pushed past Chakotay and walked towards the noise. The captain lay on her bed, curled into fetal position, shivering.

Paris was at her side instantly. He reached out and stroked her arm, and she moaned.

"It's okay, Captain," he said, "We're here for you."

"Chakotay!" she cried pitifully.

Paris's jaw dropped as the man she'd called for came to her side, pushing Tom away, and cupped her cheek. She visibly calmed. _What the hell?_ he thought. _A few hours ago that man wanted nothing to do with this, and now he's willingly providing the only comfort she'll accept_.

Before he could pursue the matter, the door chimed again. Tom and Chakotay looked worriedly at one another, knowing full well that the captain wasn't in any condition to see anyone, and that it would be detrimental to all of them if she were to be discovered half-asleep with a debilitating hangover.

Tom ran into the other room, where Harry had already opened the door. The holographic doctor was on the other side.

The pilot was the first to react. "What can we do you for, Doc?" he asked, hoping his jovial tone of voice would be convincing enough.

The Doctor looked sheepish, obviously wondering what Tom and Harry were doing in the captain's quarters. "Seven was concerned about the captain," he explained. "She suggested I check up on her. Said she saw you two carrying her earlier, that she looked ill."

"She's fine," Paris lied. "She was a little under the weather earlier – bad reaction to Crell's Warp Core Chili. Actually, we just came to check on her, but uh, she's with Chakotay, and um, we were just leaving…"

He eyed Harry and the two of them practically pushed the Doctor out of the captain's quarters.

Hearing the doors swish shut, Chakotay breathed a sigh of relief. No doubt those two young men were as confused as he was, and he wasn't looking forward to explaining himself. _Why didn't I take them up on their offer?_

The answer disturbed him, but he knew it was the truth. _Despite everything she's done, despite the state she's in, I wanted to stay with her._

* * *

Finally, Kathryn was starting to feel human again. She didn't remember much of the last few hours, but she had a sinking feeling that she should be terribly ashamed of herself. _Oh god, poor Harry_ , she thought, as she dimly recalled his presence at a particularly inopportune moment.

And then there was Chakotay, who, if he kept his word, was probably still in her quarters. She knew Chakotay to be many things, but dishonest wasn't one of them. _Unless you count hiding his affair with Seven from me_.

She opened her eyes and looked around. As she was looking, he entered the room, looking understandably annoyed, suitably exhausted, and…a little relieved? It was then that she realized her bucket was missing. _He must have gone to put it in the recycler_. There was a vague scent of cleaning fluid in the air too, and she realized that he had done more than remove the container of vomitus. She wondered if she'd have to pay for his kindness with an equal amount of humiliating torment.

There was only one way to find out.

She sat up, grimacing slightly as she did so. "We need to talk," she reminded him. He nodded awkwardly.

"Come here," she offered, patting the bed beside her. Reluctantly, he walked over and sat beside her.

"So," he started, not knowing how to continue.

"So," she answered. "I guess I'll start. Thank you for looking out for me last night; I do appreciate it." She hoped the olive branch would be well received. All anger aside, she really didn't want to lose his friendship. _If there's any left to lose_.

"You're welcome," he answered sincerely, "but you'll have to thank Tom and Harry too; they were the ones that found you."

"I will," she promised. "I guess I'm damned lucky they didn't take me straight to Sickbay."

"Maybe not," Chakotay replied. "If you'd gone to Sickbay you would have felt a lot better."

"Maybe physically," she conceded. "But…" She didn't finish; she didn't need to.

"I know," Chakotay confirmed.

"I'm not angry anymore," Kathryn offered.

"Me either," Chakotay answered. "But I do want to understand why you did it."

She took a deep breath and decided to bite the bullet. "When I found out about you and Seven, I felt…discarded, somehow. Old and useless. With _Voyager_ home, my ex-fiance married, and you with Seven…" She bit her lip, trying not to cry.

He thought for a moment. "Why would my relationship with Seven bother you?" He thought he knew the answer, but he wanted to make absolutely sure; he wanted her to say it. He was done presuming.

"Oh, Chakotay, am I not obvious enough? Do I have to say it?"

"Yes," he responded, "you do."

"All right then, Chakotay. I have feelings for you. Romantic feelings. I have for a long time. I thought you returned them." A tear rolled down her cheek. "I guess I was wrong. God, I feel so stupid right now."

His heart leapt. "Kathryn," he said, reaching out a hand to wipe away the tear, "I do return those feelings. In fact, I thought you were the one who didn't return mine. That's why I started a relationship with Seven. I can't believe you wouldn't understand that. You were with Jaffen, and Michael, and Kashyk."

Another tear rolled down her cheek. "Oh, we're a couple of fools, aren't we?" she offered, laughing slightly through her tears.

Then something occurred to her. "Did you and Seven break up because of your feelings for me?" She suddenly felt more than a little guilty.

"Actually," Chakotay told her, "Seven broke up with me because she thought I didn't care enough about you."

Kathryn looked puzzled, and Chakotay explained. "I guess I owe her a thank you too," she admitted. "I hope she's okay."

"Seven's a big girl," Chakotay pointed out. "As she would put it, she'll adapt."

"And you?" Kathryn continued. "Are you okay?"

"I am now," he answered honestly, pulling Kathryn into his arms. He expected protests from the warring voices inside his mind, but they were silent now.

"Me too," she whispered as she relaxed into his embrace, her remaining tears falling softly onto his shoulder. "Me too."


End file.
